She’s Pregnant. You’re shocked. When your child breaks the news to you, try not to overreact! Your initial response will have a significant impact on your future relationship with your child and the partner.
Yes, it is normal to feel shocked and disappointed. But remember that your child is facing an overwhelming situation too.
Your child still needs to hear you say:
“I’ll always love you. Not matter what”
“It’s not what we planned, but it will be okay.”
“We will get through this together.”
You may be tempted to say, “Whatever you choose, we’ll support you.” But this will often make your child feel like they are alone. Sharing wisdom you have gained from your life experiences can be a valuable part of the decision-making process.
Your child needs you now more than ever! Here are some tools to help you navigate this new territory. Become your child’s advocate by creating a non-threatening atmosphere to talk about feelings, concerns, and plans. Encourage rational and thoughtful decisions. Respect feelings even if they differ from yours. Be understanding. Avoid blaming or having a condemning attitude towards your child, the partner, or others involved. Work together to make a pro/con list of all her options.
What you are going through is not easy. There are no simple answers. Face this situation together. Talk openly and honestly, but also respect each other’s need for time and space to process this information. A family crisis has the potential to split family members apart or draw them close together.
We would be happy to meet with you and your child to address any concerns you may have or talk about all the options you face!
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